HEs back

'How are you?' he asked upon removing his helmet.

An easy question should be easily to be answered. But nothing came out from my mouth. I just stood straight like a fool looking direct at his face. The mouth remains tightly closed.

How should I speak when this soul continues to fight with longing and the person I miss is only 3 feets in front of me.

I'm still looking at him. He had already hung his helmet on the side mirror. No words could come out from me. I don't know where to start. Is it from the moment I was left, is it to continue how tormented I am, do I have to tell him that I think we will have no hope?

for a while he was also silent just watching me without waiting for the answer. I know the answer is not important to him because it is just an opening.

on the other hand, I seem to have a feeling to hit him for leaving me. leave me with a tormenting longing. if he knew I had become a living stone. how the days are so dim when everything used to be beautiful when my sky was colorful, and my sun was always shining.

I hate to tell him that I miss him so much because he should know that. He left me in a state where our love is still strong. I have done nothing to hurt him, and I will never hurt him. because I love him so much

and as long as I was left, I begged to God to remove this feeling, but this was the only request that was still not granted.

because of my love for him, I can't accept anyone's love to take his place. this feeling is too strong.

he took my hands and brought them to his lips and kissed my hands alternately.

I was still looking straight without reaction.

'I was wrong, I know. forgive me' he said repeatedly

My heart is beating fast, this is not the first forgiveness.

During his absence, I have vowed that we will not continue, or it will only be hurting me more.

I pulled my hand from him. I stepped back away from him. I turned and walked away. I entered the gate of my house and closed it without any word. I didn't look at him at all.

It's not my intention to hurt him, I swear I love him so much, but this love hurts myself more. I went into the house and closed the door. I know he's watching.

In my house behind the door, I suddenly became weak. I fell down and cry. I accept this fate, he's not for me. I know this forgiveness will not be the last. Enough. I have to take care of myself.

I heard him calling me from outside. 

If he feels this is heavy, how about me. 

I don't need him anymore. I persuade myself.

I heard noise near me, I opened my eyes, it's the alarm clock. Ahh apparently, I was just dreaming. The reality is he is still missing...

Somehow, I feel I just brave in a dream. If it is reality, I'll sure that I'll hug him first....

Because I have no strength to hurt him.

this is me who is often get hurt for others