Dear You

The thought that always in my mind is actually the scared. No one know this.

To them, I maybe a strong and a brave woman on earth..

But, I'm scared.

I cannot carry this feeling forever..

Dear You,

I dont know where to start but wanting to tell you something that my mouth cannot do it.

Loving you is not a mistake even it's not part of the plan.

I do loving you. Yes. I admit it.

But sometimes, thinking of you making my nerve shaking. Coz this is not right. So NOT RIGHT.

You're not the one that I should love. I just being so stubborn. To love to miss to care.

You belongs to someone else. I can't think of how our future will be when you already have someone else, someone who love you more than me.

I'm not in the position that can ask anything coz I'm no one to you.

Guiltiness,  to break someone's else feeling. I'll be so selfish or we will be.

Do you ever think how to end this. The guiltiness, the selfishness.

For the sake of your love one, I know it will hurt us both but what should we do? I don't think there's a solution.

I have no one else. You know that.

If it breaks your heart, my heart will hurt even more.

Or actually, I'm crazy for repeating the same mistake... sorry I dragged you along.

Sorry again for saying this..

If I truly need someone, I want someone who will always be with me, always around me to do things together, to spend our time together, to grow old together, not to be left behind.

I know that I cannot have this with you...

I know..

Yes, I still love at the moment I'm writing this.. but I also know how it feels to have a broken heart...

Your love one...

You're going to break her heart.

We are still not late to correct this..

We are not meant to be together..

I know I told you before.. That I'll not leave you.. but I'm suffering..

Let me go since I know what it feels like.

Feeling to be left out

Feeling broken

Feeling to miss 

Feeling unwanted 

Feeling betrayed 

I'm becoming used to it. 

Don't fake yourself to admit that you love me. You're not, you just lonely, being alone without her.

I still remember when you said you love her.

I am so heartless to be in a place I wasn't supposed to be.

I know this is gonna hurt me, but staying with you, my suffering will never end..

Coz it hurt everytime we say goodbye.. so I don't want another hurt.

I'm tired in my own emotional wars..