Inilah rasanya...

Beb,
I always tell you that I know how to manage my feelings..
But, the truth is I'm tortured..
I always shows my strength to handle pain..
But, the truth is.. It's so painful for me
I always shows how calm I'm.
But, the truth is, my heart is always trembling in anger, fighting my mind to stop ignoring you.

Beb,
I always shows that I could be alone.
But, the truth is.. I'm so lonely here.
I always shows that I don't need you.
But, the truth is I need you all my time..

Beb,
I tend to be so rigid
But, I'm crying every night
I tend to go outing by myself
But, I wish if I could complete my journey with you..

Beb,
I miss you so much...
I miss all the things that we used to do together

But.. But... I'll keep fighting, I'll keep myself away, I'll beg to Allah to make it easy for me and both of us and her.

I won't take you from her....

You may say I am being so cruel

You have no idea what I'm getting through
You don't know how difficult for me to move on.

I allow my soul to keep my feelings to you
while instructing my mind to work hard to forget you...

I'm trap
to love
you...

Breathing in loneliness
Tight up without a string
Feelings hang to leave alone
Trying to move...
But
Failure...

Ya rab, please.. I'm begging you to let this feeling faded, take me close to you instead.
Strengthen my iman and my aqidah, fix me ya rab. Let my heart, let my soul just for you. Help me ya rab. I just so weak to do it without your help. Help me...